"please, just listen to me"

one evening the children were playing nicely together, then zoe decided to play a movie. so jared decided he wanted to play one too. a dissagreement broke out. i try as much as possible to let them work it out between them, but this one was harder for them. zoe pushed jared out of the way, so jared pushed zoe a little harder and she fell to the ground. unfortunately for jared, dad saw this and things didn't go too well, as jared ended up in his room very upset.

i left him for a minute and then went and sat on his bed by him. i could see the pain ripple through his body as he wriggled and squirmed, breathing as if it hurt. i reflected to him that he was feeling upset, he said "mom, it's not fair, i got sent to my room and zoe didn't" i reflected once again that he didn't think he had been treated fairly, i asked him if he wanted me to tell his dad that he was upset, he said "wait until im asleep." as we talked i watched him relax and he breathed a big sigh of relief. dad came in to say goodbye to him and he said "mom, tell dad now," so i did. dad sat and listened to me. he said to jared that zoe wasn't for pushing even though she had pushed him first and that was why he was sent to his room. they gave each other a big hug and kiss, jared then held up his pinky for a 'pinky hug' and said "i love you dad" and dad said "i l0ve you too bud" and jared drifted off to sleep.

ashley, jared says thanks!
posted by maria


Today's WotD

Today's Word of the Day (found through following this link or the permanant link over to the right in 'playful links'):
Sapid\SAP-id\, adjective:
1. Having taste or flavor, especially having a strong pleasant flavor.
2. Agreeable to the mind; to one's liking.
The flow of my days lately has been very sapid. What's sapid in your life?
posted by ashley


light a candle

this morning i thought about the idea of an online sanctuary and i reflected a bit on all the sacred moments i experienced on the net. mostly through connecting with amazing people like you, sharing compassion and light.

in many traditions lighting a candle is a sacred act, a ritual, a form of prayer. it can be a moment to fully sink into the present and to become aware of the quiet beauty of existence. i light a candle for my son every night to guide him through his dreams. there are numerous reasons to light candles, probably as many as there are people.

if you find your own personal reason to light a candle, and have a few moments time, i invite you to light one here and hope you'll experience a moment of peace.
posted by kojan


community shopping and precious souls

I'm community shopping. Quite simply, that means I'm deciding where I want to live next. More completely, that means I'm exploring what is essential for me in a community? In what sort of community will I most thrive? How do I recognize a healthy community? How do I recognize a community in which I'll be healthy?

Questions about community are always close to my heart. . . You might remember these from awhile back (and I'm still oh-so intrigued to hear any answers that come to mind):
What does your ideal community look like?
What do you value in your community?
What do you yearn for in your community?
What are you doing to support those aspects of your community?
How can you contribute to your community, helping to co-create your ideal community?
At this moment, the criterion that is most prevalent in my awareness is who makes up my community. It's not necessarily the specifics of particular people, but more that there is a well-rounded group of people that are engaging in the world based on their passions... and that the network that is created nourishes and supports all members of the community. My dreams always include communities in which everyone is giving to and receiving from their environment, in which contributing to and learning from one another and the system as a whole is a part of the foundation.

In my fantasy world, all of the people whose hearts are connected to my own, around whom my heart sings, are a part of my local community. In my reality world, I am so blessed and thankful for the technology which allows and facilitates the virtual closeness of these dear souls.

If you'd like to peak into a window of amazing souls... Check out these precious members of my community... and feel free to share with us how you would like to be remembered.

That's all for this piecemeal of a post!
posted by ashley


like really really really old...

You're in for a treat... my friend, Caitlin, sent me "Another funny Finn moment" that I share with you. Please don't hold back from any roarous laughter that may rise up in your belly as it did in mine while I read. Thank you Caitlin and Finn... for being so preciously who you are and sharing that light with us!
The other night he approches me very seriously while I am cooking supper. "Mom.... when you are old...." yes.. "like really really really old...... and you are about to die...." Yes Finn? (me expecting touching sad words from him)... "will you tell me where your wallet is? Cause I am going to need your money."

I just about fell over. It was really hard not to laugh but he was so serious. Then he said "you know, I will really be an adult when you die." Hmmmm

He has the whole concept on the mind a lot since my dad died. It is so interesting how it connects in his thoughts. I know we were talking that day at the store about why I have more money than he does, and why I don't just buy him all the toys he asks for when he can see so much money in my wallet. I was explaining about rent, and food and clothes and budgeting.

A few days later we are driving up the hill from the ferry, and I am explaining to Aine and Finn about how the gears of the car work. They played a racing video game on the ferry with real gears and their theory that the higher the gear the faster you go was not consistently working for them. So I was explaining it, and letting them get the feel for it as we drove the highway.

A few minutes later Finn says "Mom....when you get old.....like really really really old... (you know what is coming) "and you are about to die".. yes Finn (long pause).... can you get a piece of paper and write down all that gear stuff cause I am going to need to drive the car when you're dead (long pause) oh yeah and can you also teach me to read so I can read it?

It is really lovely this little inventory he is collecting of things he is going to need when I am gone. We'll see what else comes up.
When giving me permission to share this story, Caitlin also said:
I think it is great when we can all share the stories our little folks bring into life. I think it is part of the great design of life the energy they bring, and a sad thing that as a culture we have put many walls up that stop us from being fed by it.
Thank you to each of you who dream forward the tradition of keeping these stories active and alive and present as guiding forces in the evolution of humanity. May there continue to be sanctuaries where such stories are invited to thrive, nourish, and teach.
posted by ashley


Work as Practice

Chris Corrigan spreading beautiful insight and inspiration, as usual:
Work as practice. And by practice I mean something akin to a spiritual practice, whereby one undertakes a life of value and meaning through living in a particular way. When I feel my facilitation practice deepening, I notice that what I do is becoming more and more aligned with who I am.

I try to bring my whole self to this work now, with a large dose of chaordic confidence rooted in principles and values that link what I do with who I am. Doing and Being meet in the board room or the retreat centre.
What does undertaking a life of value and meaning mean for you? When you feel a fullness of value and meaning in your life, what does your physical world around you look like? In what ways are you engaging in the world, participating in your daily life? What activities and experiences leave you refreshed and satiated, excite you and spark you, well up feelings of gratitude for this way in which you are living your life? Are these aspects part of your work? Do you bring your whole self into the work that you do? Are there ways in which you could bring more of yourself into the work that you do? Is there work that you could do in which more of yourself is invited to show up? How often do Doing and Being dance with one another in your daily life? How could Doing and Being become more intimate with one another in your world?

just some questions I'm enjoying pondering!!
posted by ashley


all the possibilities


Here's an idea I think you'll enjoy. I've opened up a Gmail account
for Peter (3 years old) that will serve as an online journal of sorts
about him growing up. I jot short notes about what's going on in his
world, attaching a j-peg image or short quicktime movie from that day.
I imagine giving him the address and password when he's a young adult.
Or maybe in twenty years forwarding him an email from that account now
and then sharing a moment from his childhood. Sounds fun, eh?


posted by ashley

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