Subtle Sensing, Clarity, Unknowing
Returning home from 5 days spent on Bowen Island I walk into a new world. The woods beyond my back yard have opened themselves, leaves fallen, bare branches revealing the once mysterious landscape that lies beneath the green and gold canopy I had left. I feel the fierce winds that pruned the trees and flipped our patio umbrella.
Sacred currents of chaotic movement
Winds of change and transformation
Frenetic energy still stirs the air. And I also feel, in a timeless way, the future presencing as a soft resting of deep integration. I can see it here now in the softness of the light and the closing in of space. The clouds are lower, mirroring a turning in, spiraling into wings of flight lifting life’s cradled embrace.
My learning right now circles around the edges. There is a vibrantly solid and fierce ball of energy before me. I am savoring its presence, dancing around its edges, learning about its boundaries and noticing the magnetic pull that draws me towards opportunities of discovery. I am gently leaning in.
Right now I feel the pull most strongly beginning in the space just beneath my heart, below my sternum. It throbs powerfully up through my chest, a slow bulging hum in/as my heart. The force stays centered and resonant in my heart while also bellowing up and arching outwards. That is the bottom line of this pull. The top line is a soft curve along my neck, connected to my throat while also drawing energy down and out, reaching beyond my throat. The fluidity is experienced as a subtle and accentuated curve like taffy being pulled out before me while maintaining a reverent connection with me.
I’m curious. I’m enjoying the game of bringing words and naming this experience. My head is invigorated by this inquiry. I feel that impulse to ‘keep going’ and yet I’m not sure where I’m going. I rest my attention, my thinking, listening for what emerges that will focus my curiosity.
Boundaries. Limits. Pulsing edges that are alive and reflective. Limits that are coherent, serving the health and well being of the whole through reflection of what is.
I wrote the above passage yesterday morning and as the day moved on, I found myself playing in the backyard that had previously only been observed from the window.
The leaves have half fallen from their trees, slowly hinting through flickering smiles at future possibilities of seeing more clearly the shape of the land spread before me. Clues of sight expand my sense, the field of possibilities deepening before my eyes. The still connected scattered leaves of yellow and green bustling in the wind leave greater focus to come, the season’s promise that they will soon be gone (an inherent pattern or boundary?) tempts me. With nature’s time, bare branches will offer a clearer perspective. I sit with a knowing vision of a future when the landscape is clear while I am breathing with the haze of not-knowing tickled by curiosity’s impatience and will’s push to experience clear form.
