11.30.2006

Holding with Love & Grace in Life & Death

I know I'm being invited into a heart touching experience when Christy points my eyes towards something by saying that it "glows with special fire, and offers up with deep and breathtaking tenderness the essence of love and community and thankfulness."

It is true, this piece at 37days touched me in so many ways. I've mentioned my own frustrations with how our culture interacts with death and grief. This story empowered me with hope and inspiration. I highly recommend the long read. Here are a couple of passages that spoke to me in various ways. They ring with a vibrant clarity when read in their context... and may they open our hearts to unknown healing as we feel them in whatever context resonates with our soul.

From Ren, written to 37days:
“I agree with you that the grieving process is a life-long thing. It's about coming to terms with the new relationship you've got with the person. Because death doesn't end the relationship, it ends a life (there’s an old quote about that...who is it?) and it's this constant coming to terms with the fact that they aren't physically there.”
And quotes from 37days:
“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” – Jack Lemmon

We thank the body of Meta for housing her spirit.

Pema Chodron has written that “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”

What I found in this story was a group of people who so loved this young woman that they walked solidly toward their fear and their not knowing. They had never done this before; it was not a reflex of habit, but of sheer, pure love.

“For me, there’s a decision point of opening my heart to love. And once I did that, I could do much more. I could remain really calm and loving.”

“Our approach,” Walker explained, "was trying to stay in our hearts, to create a loving place, a place in which grief could come up and into your mind, and then leave, replaced by love. There was so much love in that room, it was palpable," she recalled.

That Monday morning, they didn’t put Meta in a cardboard box, no. They put the body of Meta in a cardboard box. There is a difference. Meta lives, her body doesn't. Would we look at death and dead bodies differently if we changed our language to reflect the reality of body and spirit?

“This is how a community is supposed to work. Imagine if we held each other with the same grace in life as they have shown Meta in death."
My heart thrives and my spirit soars as I both imagine and deepen my own practice of holding each other with such love and grace in life and in death.


P.S. This reminds me of one of my favorite conversations that unfolded here at easily amazed... It's never too late to share your own wishes and/or to share new thoughts that have emerged as more life has been lived.
posted by ashley

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