9.22.2004

what do you need?

patti and i were talking today about some of the differences between working with children and adults. both of us believe whole heartedly in following a child's attention, being guided by the child, slipping into the child's rhythm, aiming to experience as much of the child's world as possible. patti stated: "with children, i'm used to simply riding their waves." as she said this i noticed that children's waves usually fall along the most direct path that the child knows of that leads towards their perception of health. children are quite genuine, even if they are genuinely lying or misbehaving. there is innocence in the child's decision to act in the only way that seems to provide that which the child needs. and moving towards that which one needs is a prominent aspect of healing.

i admire the clarity and authenticity of many children's waves and am often baffled by the cloudiness of our twisted and contracted adult waves. i believe that each individual has an intrinsic desire to heal, to move towards wholeness and optimal health. however, i notice that many adults often get stuck treading in stagnant water, water defined by what they should or should not do (myself included). i watch as people make choices that perpetuate their pain and suffering. where i notice a striking difference between children and adults is that children are innocently acting in the only way they know. it appears that adults are often too scared to step into the unknown of being another way.

but don't worry, i've far from given up on adults! i continue to live optimistically, trusting in each individuals ability and desire to step onto the path of optimal living, creating a life that is exactly the way one wishes it to be... what do you need to make your life fuller? what do you need to bring more joy and pleasure into your world? what do you need to intensify the feeling of gratitude for this gift we've each been granted called LIFE?

What do you need? is a question that i often ask children when they come to see me for a concern or problem. some recent responses...

a child was concerned that her sister doesn't love her any more. after exploring her feelings on the topic i asked her,
what do you need right now?
touch
another child was quite depressed by the lack of friends and meaningful relationships in his life. he longed for connection.
what is it that you need?
happiness
a child was playing with puppets that have different feeling faces. there was a 'sad boy' puppet. the child narrated that the sad boy puppet was feeling very sad and he went over to a funny monster puppet to seek some help. the funny monster said,
if you're feeling sad, all you have to do to feel better is believe in yourself.
do you believe in yourself? what do you need in order to believe in yourself more? what do you need to make your life just a little bit fuller, to feel just a little bit more alive?

Comments:

the ways in which she creates a field of support allowing unseen depths of another to safely rise to the surface. very interesting.


Gravatarwhen you share stories and emotions from your direct experience you shine as a model of compassionate, open presence. it's who you are!

yes, keep tossing us thoughts and links and quotes and pearls--you have a gift at focusing attention in valuable directions. but i want to see your writing voice deepen into the pure presence you share so freely with those fortunate enough to cross your path, the children you touch, the friends you support, the stranger you inspire, the texan you bewilder. . .


Gravatarthe ways in which she creates a field of support allowing unseen depths of another to safely rise to the surface.

it's so funny how unarticulate i am about the things that i 'do'. i so cherish reading these words and feeling that surprise inside of me that says, WOW, YEAH, i guess that i do do that! thanks, thomas for encouraging me and helping these strings of light inside me shine ever-so brighter.

posted by ashley

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